here's all the stuff that i produced that is useless. useless because no one values me or what i create, and all of these are my creations that i know will be enjoyed by no one
my ideas have all been thought about by anyone who reads them, and deemed bad enough not to implement. i know that because i know that my thinking is way slower and simpler than the thinking of most of the world's population, and people around me always remind me when i bring up my ideas that they've already thought of them and why they suck. but i'm implementing my stuff and thinking about it anyway! just because i have no other option.
i write prose that sucks. i write software that sucks. i communicate in a way that sucks. my drawings suck. i want to make music, and i know it will suck.
everything is forever way subpar, but alas. i have the brain i've been given by nature, and i can only give that much
no one is ever going to pay me for anything (why would they, if i can only make it worse and more slowly than anyone else? i mean, they might pay me for harming myself on camera or in person, but i don't want to do that yet), so ultimately, i am only making that for myself. everything that is not directed at helping someone else in my situation - i know will never be used. in fact, i might be opening up a vulnerability - more stuff to mock me for - but whatever. what else do i have? shut up like the rest? this life makes no sense. so fuck it! hoping for a MIRACLE to come and for someone to actually use this crap. the chance is, i'd say, about 1 unit to {10 billion}, because that's how many people are on earth, and maybe one of them who's not me will actually find it somewhat worthy. whatever
this page is useless, your reality is useless!!!